CONCIERGE: Where are you visiting from?
CONCIERGE: Ah, Toronto. It’s been an exciting week for you all, huh?
GUEST: Oh yes! We saw Macy’s! AND the Empire State Building!!! And the STATUE!!! We’re having so much fun!!!!
(Typical Canadians. You try to talk shit about their crack-smoking mayor, and they turn it into a positive conversation about exploring.)
My dog just peed in my car. Whattup, Friday?
UPDATE: DOG PUKED AND IM STUCK IN TRAFFIC
We pulled into the garage and he puked a second time. There is puke everywhere.
Just drove to the car wash place with my windows down in 9 degree weather because the stench is so bad.
There’s free coffee and wifi here. Can I get a booyah?
This has been the most gripping saga I’ve read all day